Assertive communication techniques 2023
Assertive communication techniques 2023
Assertive communication is a communication tool that favors effective communication between interlocutors. By putting it into practice, we are promoting self-respect and respecting others.
Powerful communication techniques are tools that can be applied both in our professional and personal lives. In this sense, knowing what characteristics are behind it and what resources we can use in our favor will give us favorable results in each interaction we make.
What is assertive communication?
Communication is how a message is transmitted between a sender and a receiver. Still, when we talk about assertive communication or Assertiveness, we include the attitude of that communication since it is how a person expresses their opinions. From respect for the other clearly and slowly.
Characteristics of assertive communication
Assertive communication is a communication style that immensely impacts emotional and professional work relationships. Next, we present six fundamental characteristics to have an effective assertive communication:
1. When we look at our interlocutor, we are showing interest, and this attitude substantially increases trust and closeness.
2. Open body posture since our non-verbal communication shows interest and sincerity.
3. Observe our gestures and learn to control them since the appropriate gestures help us emphasize the messages we want to reinforce.
4. Look at our voice levels since by modulating them adequately, we are more convincing.
5. Analyze how long we listen and how long we are listened to increase receptivity and impact.
6. Identify how much, how, when and where we intervene, and observe the quality of our interventions in the conversations.
Assertive communication at work
Working on Assertiveness in communication is one of the desirable skills for any worker, especially in commercial areas, where communication is the fundamental pillar of the work task. Thus, one of the many advantages of assertive communication at work and in business is the creation of a favorable climate for the representation of ideas, opinions, and respect that will optimize relationships within the work context.
Assertive communication is the most appropriate way to address a client since it is the best way to express what we want to say without the other interlocutor feeling attacked. In addition, communicating assertively helps us to encourage the message to be assumed more easily and in a clearer and more precise way without anyone having to feel evaluated or threatened.
In this way, communicating our message clearly and safely, respecting the rights of others, generates a perception of respect and credibility in light of the indications that we will give to the client with whom we communicate.
It is important to know the information we will give and how to give it. Communication about results, diagnosis, or treatments can raise doubts as to the professionalism with which we work and bias the rest of the process.
That the client perceives good self-esteem in our behavior when we express our opinions is essential for them to be cooperative and to communicate their thoughts, doubts, or opinions to us.
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Assertive communication at a verbal, non-verbal, and para-verbal level
Within the assertive style, we can find several characteristics at verbal, non-verbal, and para-verbal levels. Thus, the management of assertive communication in verbal language uses the first person to refer to feelings, opinions, and other formulas to express collaborative ideas.
Assertive communication in nonverbal behavior
In this style, the non-verbal behavior we adopt will greatly influence how the client will receive the information.
For this, it is very important to maintain direct eye contact with the client, have an upright posture and not appear tense.
Showing security with our body while giving the message and not appearing aggressive will make it easier for us to get the client to give us their full attention and accept the information.
Assertive communication in verbal behavior
For our verbal communication to be coherent with our non-verbal communication, it is important to analyze the following recommendations:
1. When conversing, avoid crossing your arms; try to be in an open position.
2. Do not interpret the gestures or movements of our interlocutor; we should investigate before assuming.
3. Observe our tone of voice; if this is consistent with the message.
4. Maintaining eye contact in a very subtle way while we listen and speak denotes interest and strengthens relationships, as it shows empathy.
Assertive communication in para verbal behavior
Among the characteristics of recommended para-verbal behaviors that should be used in our message are; a calm and constant tone of voice, respect for the silences, and constant rhythm throughout the process.
One of the things that can indicate a lack of security and even nervousness is not respecting the silence that must appear during communication. Not stopping talking, being uncomfortable if there is silence, and running quickly, will make the client doubt the reality we are trying to show.
Table 1. Characteristics of assertive communication in behavior, verbal, non-verbal, and para-verbal.
Assertive communication techniques
Below we discuss 7 assertive communication techniques, explaining what each of them consists of. Examples are included assertive communication dialogues from specific situations.
Broken record technique
The broken record technique consists of repeating an affirmation several times without changing our tone, rhythm, and volume and without the intention of entering into any confrontation.
Example:
– You’re not listening to me.
– Yes, I’m listening, but I’m checking your data simultaneously.
– No, you are not paying attention to me
– I repeat that if I am listening to him, I am only checking the information he has given me now.
Fog bank technique
The fog bank technique consists of granting the client the reason but leaving no room to continue the confrontation or discussion. In this case, some care must be taken when using this technique, as the client may feel we want to do something other than help him.
Example:
– To this day, you have not solved my problem.
– You may be right.
– Of course, I’m right!
– It’s possible.
– Of course, it is possible!
– Yeah, I’m not going to deny it.
Technique for change
This technique attempts to give a global vision of the discussion, relativizing it to reduce aggressiveness and frustration.
Example:
You have yet to hear what I just told you.
– I have not heard him clearly because I was checking the information he had given me.
– How can you say that? I’m also in a hurry
– Look, we can solve this with peace of mind; however, you know that this requires time, so we can assess whether it is worth continuing now or at another time. It looks good?
Assertive communication techniques 2023
Assertive agreement technique
In this case, an attempt is made to reach an agreement where what can be considered an error is confirmed but given as a basis that generally is not usual.
Example:
– How many times do I have to repeat it?
– You are right when you say that we have asked you for this information several times, but you will understand that I have to check that everything is correct.
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Assertive question technique
It is answering our receiver with a question that makes what is being discussed positive, also allowing the client to face the criticism or difficulty raised in the same way.
Example:
– In the end, it didn’t help me at all.
– What could we do to prevent this from happening again?
Ignore Technique
This technique is usually used when the client is upset or angry on the call, and it isn’t easy to have a constructive conversation. In these moments, we have to be as empathetic as possible not to arouse any impression of aggression.
Example:
– I’m sick of not solving my problem!
– Now he is in a very bad mood. Hence, postponing this conversation to another, more opportune moment is convenient.
Assertive communication techniques 2023
Assertive postponement technique
We use this technique when we are not able at that moment to give an adequate solution or response to the claim made by the client. It can be combined with the fog bank technique if the client insists.
Example:
– You never solve any problem for me.
– It is not the first time he has made this statement to me; as you know, we have already discussed this same subject on other occasions. I propose to postpone it because, at this precise moment, I am waiting, pending his claim.
Behaviors that help active and empathic communication
Listening actively involves capturing the entire message of our interlocutor and interpreting it from his point of view, that is, putting ourselves in his place. This does not mean that we have to agree or share our opinion. Thus, Assertiveness, as a communicative skill, facilitates knowing how to say “no” to our interlocutor in the face of messages we do not agree with without creating a conflict.
minimal responses
A word is enough to show the interlocutor that you are interested in the conversation, and we would like it to continue.
Thus, expressions like “mmm…, yes” are called minimal responses and should be used frequently, especially in those people who express themselves little.
reflection of feelings
To indicate interest and attention, it is essential to reflect on the person’s feelings. Sometimes, people only describe actions; through them, we must identify feelings to reformulate the dialogue.
Example: “I feel tired; it’s the third time I’ve called” instead of paying attention to the fact of the difficulty of the contact that is described in your words, you have to respond with words that indicate the understanding of feelings: “For what He tells me, you are upset.”
Request for clarifications
Asking for clarification helps to identify and understand the meaning of the words while indicating to the interlocutor that you are trying to understand their point of view.
Assertive communication techniques 2023
Repetition of keywords or phrases
Sometimes it is also helpful to repeat keywords or phrases that the person has used, particularly if they have raised several issues at once; it is helpful to catch the key phrase, which helps keep the conversation going on the issues the client is concerned about.
Example: “I don’t want to change; in the end, this takes a long time, and right now, I need time and I can’t entertain myself with these things, which in the end is expensive.”
In this case, capturing the key phrase “I need time” would be useful, which provides us with information about the client’s real need and greatest concern.
Questions or statements with an open answer
Which provides the opportunity to continue the conversation. If you want more information on a specific topic, it is often helpful to repeat the key phrase, allowing the person to comment further.
Thus, in the previous example, one could say, “He says that his problem is that he doesn’t have time” (repeating the key phrase).
A comment or an open question, “were you going to tell me that…” or “would you like to tell me more about it?” is also useful.
Assertive communication techniques 2023
solution analysis
Sometimes, it is appropriate to help analyze possibilities regarding the solution to the identified problems, realizing some factors of the situation that have yet to be mentioned, including them in your comments or questions but being careful not to give an opinion on what you should do. This is to help you consider the various factors and possibilities that may have yet to be considered.
Assertive communication allows us to start a conversation from a collaborative point of view, where the client does not feel like a simple receiver of information but also has an opinion that is respected.
We have all undoubtedly had some experience, whether over the phone or in person, in which we have felt overwhelmed by an interlocutor who did not pay attention to us and was uninterested in our opinion. We would like to know your experience in this regard and if this article has provided you with any communication tool you were unaware of.
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Assertive communication techniques 2023